Helping others get through tragedy helps Mark and Lisa Henderson appreciate life

Mark and Lisa Henderson are no strangers to tragedy.

As owners of Hillcrest Funeral Home in Vankleek Hill, the Hendersons are often called upon to help local individuals and families deal with the death of a loved one. Because they see death on an almost daily basis, the Hendersons never forget that completing all the necessary arrangements of a funeral service is a task most families face only a few times.

"Unless you see death on a daily basis, it can be very difficult for people to come to terms with the reality that we're all going to die someday," Lisa told The Review. "My family lives with that reality every single day. I think we always expect tomorrow will be there and then one day, tomorrow doesn't come. We're always very aware of that."

The Hendersons are committed to assisting individuals and families in completing all of the arrangements within their financial means and with the special preferences they desire. Their intention is to help make every ceremony personal and meaningful, and truly reflective of the life that was lived.

Nevertheless, Lisa said death remains a taboo subject for many people and the stereotype that funeral directors are moody and morose still tends to dominate public perception.

"I think a lot of times, people don't want to talk about death because they're afraid that talking about it will make it happen," she commented. "We look at funeral services as a celebration of the life that was lived.

"That's why we encourage people to have some kind of service. Whether it is here at the funeral home or a small graveside service, we encourage people to do something. Every life is worth recognizing and a service is a way to recognize that it was lived."

When it comes to dealing with death, Lisa said it never ceases to amaze her that people are somehow able to make it through such a difficult time.

"Honestly, I think there must be a part of our brain that shuts itself off so we can go through the motions and still function," she said. "It really is a very chaotic time for people. It's our job to be calm and reassuring... to let people know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and everything is going to be okay. We just keeping telling them everything is going to be okay and somehow, it helps people get through."

There is no doubt that Lisa and Mark are affected by their jobs but, as Lisa says, despite being a difficult job to do on many levels, it is one she truly enjoys doing.

"We do love what we do," she remarked. "There is no question it affects us and it bothers us. But knowing that we are helping people get through what is possibly the most difficult time in their lives is rewarding.

"There are times when we ask ourselves why we do this and I know people wonder how we do it. I think you have to love what you do in order to do this job. It's not easy, but it can be very rewarding."

When asked how she and her family cope with the tragic incidents they see almost daily, Lisa said people have a tremendous ability to move forward even after experiencing the death of a loved one.

"When a loved one dies, the path your life was on automatically changes," she explained. "The funeral and everything after is part of your life moving in different direction. People grieve and that process can take a very long time. But, eventually, you see that people heal and the experience changes them. They move forward in this new direction, or they get remarried and start a new chapter in their life. Seeing that makes it a little easier for us. It gives us hope and reassurance that everything really will be okay."

Lisa noted she is always amazed by the number of people who come to wakes and funerals to support the individual or family that is grieving.

"It's very inspiring to see so many people come out for wakes and funerals. It's a way to let everyone know that you're not alone in your grief. Even in the sadness, we'll hear laughter as people talk and share stories and memories and that's always nice. Even in one of the saddest moments in a person's life, there are smiles and laughter."

Lisa said she and Mark try to cherish every single day and to find happiness in even the small things life has to offer.

"One of the most important things for us is to never leave anything unsaid," Lisa stated. "If you have something to say, say it. The last thing you want is to have regrets. I am very appreciative of everything I have - my family, my friends - everything."

All of these things are precisely what keep the Hendersons going, and what drive them to offer their services and support to those who need it most.

"Mark and I spend a lot of time reassuring and comforting people in their greatest time of need," Lisa said. "There is a lot of sadness, but there's also a lot of joy, believe it or not. I am amazed at the human ability to move forward even in the most difficult circumstance and it is very rewarding for us to be there to offer help and support to those who are grieving. It's what makes this job so rewarding for us and it's what allows us to keep going."

She said it's also important to make wise choices when it comes to how she and her family spend their time.

"All we have is time and yet, we have no idea how much time we have. We try to spend our time doing things we enjoy and things we want to do. If this way my last day, would I really want to spend it doing laundry and cleaning up my house?

"We make time to do things we enjoy because it helps us unwind and allows us to spend quality time together as a family. When an opportunity presents itself, I say go for it. If there's something you want to do, go out and do it."