The little family that grew and grew

Bonnie and Fred Cappuccino never wanted a large family.

In fact, they both figured the world was already overcrowded and were quite happy with the two sons they were blessed with.

Although they were always well aware that the world was full of needy children, it's doubtful either of them ever imagined they would end up adopting and essentially raising 19 children from 11 countries in the Far East.

The couple went on to found Child Haven International in 1985, a registered charitable organization that helps children and women in India, Nepal, Tibet and Bangladesh who are in need of food, education, health care, shelter, clothing, emotional and moral support - and most important, lots of love and encouragement.

"What we do is not outstanding," Fred told The Review during a recent interview. "Compared to some things others are doing, we don't feel that we do is that remarkable.

"A lot of people would do what we are doing if they could. I have always felt that if a child turned up on a person's doorstep and needed to be taken care of most people would take that child in. Most people would put aside whatever else was going on in their own lives to take care of that child if there was absolutely no other choice."

The Cappuccinos also helped found an organization called Families for Children, which has placed children of many nationalities in loving North American homes.

Fred said he and Bonnie "tried many things" before founding Child Haven, most of which didn't "pan out very well."

"Child Haven is a fine example of something we did that worked out," Fred commented. "However, about three-quarters of the things we tried in our life together were total flops. We just kept persevering and moving on to the next thing. There's no doubt it was devastating when something didn't work out because we'd invested a lot of time and it didn't work out. But Bonnie and I are the type that persist through our failures, which are numerous. We learn from them and move on to the next thing."

As an example, in 1967, Fred was invited to head a liberal Unitarian congregation in Pointe-Claire, Quebec. Unfortunately, people began leaving the community and soon, there weren't enough people left to keep the church going.
In the early 1970s, the Cappuccinos paid $8,000 for a pioneer log cabin on a 40-hectare farm east of Maxville. They intended to live off the land, but they were novices and failed.

"We had this grand idea that we would go and live off the land," Bonnie recalled. "We were terrible farmers."

In 1972, they lead a Canadian group to war-torn Bangladesh to rescue starving orphans. They returned with 15 babies, including a girl, Shikha Deepa Margaret, who became their daughter. In 1976, they sold most of their possessions and - accompanied by their seven youngest children - went to Sri Lanka, and then India, where they opened a home for destitute children.
Back in Maxville after 18 months, Fred found work as a re-motivation therapist in an extended-care hospital in Cornwall, while Bonnie - back on the farm - cooked enormous meals in her primitive kitchen and pestered the government for permission to bring Vietnamese children stranded in a camp in Thailand to Canada.
Permission for 100 of the children was finally given, on her promise that if placements didn't work out, the farm would serve as an emergency shelter. With the help of their community, the Cappuccinos built a big one-room addition to the cabin, and about a dozen boat children, at one time or another, lived there. One enterprising girl, KimChi, who had smuggled herself aboard a ship leaving Vietnam, joined the household.
In 1985, when Child Haven was finally born, the couple were parents to 21 children.

Bonnie explained that the Child Haven homes operate on Gandhian principles, meaning each woman and child they help receives that help regardless of caste, gender, age, or religion.

"We are non-violent pacifists and we provide fully vegetarian meals," Bonnie said. "Every single child is treated equally. We are blind to race, gender, religion and all of that because at the end of the day, none of that matters. These children have been shunned by society and they are in need of love, care and encouragement. That is what we aim to provide. Every single child on this earth deserves a chance. No child should be left behind for any reason."

Bonnie said Child Haven places a tremendous amount of importance on education because that is one of the keys to breaking the cycle of poverty.

"Fred mentioned that most people would take a child in if a child showed up on their doorstep in need," she remarked. "Well, that happens every day, several times a day in the countries we have homes in. It's a common occurrence and although it's sad, we do what we can to help."

Bonnie makes a conscious effort to visit all nine homes every year. Her travel schedule is grueling and she is in the air four times a year. Fred said his wife is typically gone for a month and a half then home for the same amount of time. All the while, he manages things at Child Haven's office, located in their log cabin home.

"Just when I'm getting used to having Bonnie at home, she's gone again," Fred said. "But things have come a long way since the early days when she was traveling. Now I can keep in touch with her through e-mail and the phone. A while ago, there was no guarantee I would even get a connection to talk to her on the phone."

Bonnie said she enjoys traveling and it is "very important" for her to visit each home every year.

"I have a very close relationship with all the people in each home and I look forward to seeing them," she said. "They look forward to my visits as well. We're a big family."

While you'll never hear the Cappuccinos bragging about the amazing things they've done in their lifetime together, both agree their strong will and penchant for working together as a team helps to keep them going.

"We're very fortunate that we work together as a team," Fred noted. "I love working with her. She's my wife, my best friend. We've been though a lot together and here we are today. We have a wonderful life and are blessed to be doing what we're doing."

Currently, Fred said Child Haven is in need of volunteers to travel to homes for a three-month period and help out with the running of the homes.

"You don't need any special skills or talents, you just have to want to go," he explained. "You go over there with a humble heart and you learn."

Volunteers pay their own travel expenses but are given room, board and meals while volunteering at the homes. For more information on Child Haven and how you can get involved, please contact Fred at fred@childhaven.ca.