My complaint is . . . complaints

lsproule@thereview.ca
The compliments about our front page are always when we feature two or more uplifting stories. When someone wins an award, someone overcomes adversity or someone wins the lottery, you take the time to say: Good paper! Nice front page!
On the other hand, a front page plastered with explosions, fires or robberies brings little or no response. Smashed up vehicles are not popular either.
In the news biz, of course, we have the reputation for finding out just what the heck went wrong and telling you all about it. But I have to say that compared to a few decades ago, I get the feeling that most of us are fed up with bad news. Yes, we still want to hear it, but to counteract it, we need a generous helping of good news to make the bad stuff easier to swallow.
That, in fact, is what inspired this page at the back of the paper, to leave you with an upbeat note or a good feeling after you have digested some news that may be discouraging.
Yes, it was my idea and no, I’m not your mother telling you to cheer up.
You have to take the good with the bad, and we know that better than anyone, I dare say.
You sure wouldn’t want to read this newspaper if we sugar-coated everything and inserted flattering adjectives ahead of every politician’s name. (Okay, maybe our politician readership demographics would increase.)
Still, this is a tricky business environment in which to stay positive.
Sometimes, I am just plain worn down and someone will corner me with a long litany of complaints that I just can’t wash away.
And then the worst thing happens: I start to complain, too. I am finished. I am dragged down; everything is hopeless. What is the point, anyway?
And on top of it all, I feel bad for complaining and feel as if the complaint has somehow made me look worse than what I have been complaining about.
The light came on last week when I got caught listening to criticism about something happening in our community. I listened and argued the other side. I listened some more and did it again. And again. And again. And then I had used up my quota and I started in with a few of my own beefs.
Shame on me. I should have quit while I was ahead. It was then that I realized I could let someone gently know that I got the point and we could move on.
Not so easy to do in the news biz, as I said earlier, but I can and should do it when it moves into the personal realm.
The trick is to know the difference and know when it is time for a diplomatic change of subject.
I still believe in hearing people’s complaints, but there is a line that we all cross sometimes when a complaint becomes what I call unproductive. It’s the old: bring me a solution - not a problem thing.
If the complaint is about what you would like to see changed for the better, then let’s get to the good part.
But if your complaint is going to drag me down because there’s nothing I can do and all you really want to do is complain, then maybe I’m not up for it.
There is no way doing this job that I can avoid hearing about government gone wrong, the high suicide rate, homeless people and homeless cats and for sure, the thing I like most about what I do is that despite the most discouraging stories, I believe that there is always a way through. Every day brings new information and new perspectives. Everything is dynamic. The people that need to cool down cool down and the people that need to get riled up and change something do so. It’s just that we can’t always make things happen at the exact moment we want them to happen.
Patience is in order sometimes and we don’t always have it. Pushing forward and working quickly is in order sometimes and we don’t always do that, either.
The one thing that stayed with me  last week is that we can reduce the time we spend on so-called negative side of things. Time spent that way doesn’t leave us in a position to change anything.
The decision is up to each of us and depends on the circumstances of the moment. Perhaps a good guideline might be close to the line my yoga instructor uses: she says to hold a yoga pose until you stop smiling.
I might amend that to say: stop listening before you stop smiling.