What people give us

lsproule@thereview.ca
I had been thinking about the people I missed seeing around town. They were people in my own circle of knowing, of course. We all have circles of people around us: the familiar faces at the check-out line, the people who work at the post office, the guy who drives by early in the morning to clean the sidewalks during the winter. That is just a short list, of course, of the people who keep our world running. There is also a circle of people we see every day and because this is a small town, I hesitate to list the familiar walkers I see at the same time each day, the crossing guard who gives me a big wave every morning.
Last week, I thought about the people whose presence somehow shaped our town. I thought about those who had made their presence known and still, sometimes, I think I see a familiar figure coming down the street. Or I walk through the door at a community event and realize that certain people are no longer there to greet me.
Last week, the staff at Vankleek Hill’s Scotiabank set up a small memorial tribute to one of our town’s memorable people: Marilyn Massia. It’s hard to explain to someone who never knew her just how she fit into our town, but fit she did. And many of us still miss her.
It is, of course, at the end of a year that we indulge in a look back. Depending on our losses and how recent they are, we can feel more than a little heartache at a time of year when there is supposed to be joy in the air – everywhere.
Maybe it is a time to regroup and think about what it is we are missing. This thought struck me as I stood in the bank line-up last week, a few feet away from the tribute to Marilyn.
As those near and dear to us ask what we want for Christmas and we ask them the same question, the answers we give about the kitchen gadgets, the socks, the new technology or that gift card are not the whole story. What we want is to be valued by those family and friends who are in our closest circle. We want some evidence that we are cared for and that someone took time to think about us as they chose a little or big something just for us.
Sometimes, a little voice inside us even says: If she/he really loved me, she/he would already know what I want.
In that moment at the bank line-up, I realized that as valued people and friends leave my circle, I need to think hard about what that person gave me just by being who he or she was. And rather than think about my loss, I can pay close attention to others who share with me the qualities that I value.
The late uncle who told me I should write for a living? I am fortunate that even as his voice lives on inside of me, I also receive encouragement from readers who take the time to tell me when we connect through my writing when I get it just right. The late Andrea Martel who always took a moment to tell the cooks at a church supper just how great the meal was  . . . and who reminded me that this newspaper was important to our small town? I valued her so much; yet today, her message comes through the voices of others. You get the idea.
So to sum up: we can note that people are missed, but we can do more. We can pay them the best tribute when we remember the qualities that made them shine and brighten our lives. Strangely enough, the light never goes out; it just comes from a new place.